There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
