HIV tests are more positive than that guy
her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Randomize
