I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Randomize
