I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Randomize
