Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
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