i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
