im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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