I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
