"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
