One girl and one boy is just not enough.
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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