just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
