somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
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