How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Randomize
