who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
where are my eyebrows?
Randomize
