Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Randomize
