he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Randomize
