Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
