PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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