If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
