Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
