Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
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