We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
