Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
wow bdsm is so cute
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
