we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
Randomize
