That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
Randomize
