im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
I need a beard to bite.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
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