this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
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