Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
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