I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
