I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
Such a big mess for such a small penis
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