I don't think brook has ever known best
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
Man, jail baloney is awful.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
