My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
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