is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
My legs feel like baby dolphins
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
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