I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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