nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
