so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
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