My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Randomize
