All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
Randomize
