you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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