Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
Randomize
