put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize