I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
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