If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Randomize
