Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
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