Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
After last night, I could never be a politician.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
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