I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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