32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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