I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
