whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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