I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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