I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Randomize
