no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Randomize
