his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
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it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
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