It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
Randomize
