Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize