Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
Randomize
