She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
