doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
Randomize
