Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
