I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
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