no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
And then he peed in my hair
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