I cockslap morals
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
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