I hate all girls vehemently.
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
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